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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Rejected Yet Not Defeated

Producing “Little Girl Blue” is a joy, a pleasure, a passion, a vision. Producing “Little Girl Blue” is a dream come true. Here’s a photo of me in the theater, rehearsing for an upcoming performance, pouring my heart out to an empty house, save for the tech staff. But I promise you - this “performance” is as passionate and powerful as any that I’d charge for, with all the energy and convictions pouring forth from the 17 characters that I portray in this one-woman show.

Believe me, I live each and every day with the tension and intensity associated with “opening night.” Indeed, “Little Girl Blue” is always in the forefront of my mind. Everyday is, in a sense, leading up to opening night. So delivering to my utmost capacity is essential. Even if I am the only one in my audience.
Please understand that everyone will not agree with or support your vision. This is a simple fact of life. But if you don’t get a green light at every turn, does that change the intensity of your vision and your mission to achieve it? Let’s hope not. A rejection is not a defeat. A set back is not a defeat. One “no” doesn’t mean another “yes” isn’t right around the corner.

Recently I was notified that my grant proposal to produce a broadcast quality video of “Little Girl Blue” was rejected. At first I was shocked. I just knew I was getting that grant! Then I was angry. How dare they reject my proposal! Then I was disillusioned. So I called the foundation and asked for the reviewers’ comments. I found them to be ambiguous. So I got in a huff and hung up. Then I realized I shouldn’t give up so quickly on that particular opportunity. I definitely decided to move on with my quest. But in the meantime, I called the foundation back for further explanation of the rejection, and asked for more specific details. Then I decided that it wouldn’t hurt to re-submit, regardless of the outcome. At least in my heart of hearts, I will know that I tried.

Interestingly enough, this is my 5th grant proposal rejection from this very same foundation. Yet each time a new funding cycle approaches, I get tons of emails and phone calls from friends and supporters of “Little Girl Blue” encouraging me to go for this grant because they believe the match is “perfect.” So I keep plugging away. Not just with this grant, but with every idea and every opportunity that presents itself.

My passion for “Little Girl Blue” is unwavering. Mine is not a dream deferred. Mine is a dream come true. I thank the mighty Creator for giving me this vision and turning the dream of “Little Girl Blue” into a reality. The Latin phrase “excelsior” means to reach ever higher, keep moving onward, upward. And so it is: “Excelsior!”

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